DBT Skills Explained & Why Therapists Recommend Them

Picture this: You're having one of those days where everything feels overwhelming. Your morning coffee tastes off, your mind is racing through worst-case scenarios, and you've been short with everyone around you. Sound familiar? This is a human experience that doesn't discriminate—it affects everyone from college students to CEOs, from parents juggling multiple responsibilities to individuals navigating major life transitions.

If you’re looking for a way to navigate these difficult moments and come out the other side feeling better about yourself (and life in general), there are many therapy frameworks that can help. One of the most popular right now is Dialectical Behavior Therapy, aka DBT.

DBT has gained significant traction in clinical settings and is increasingly recognized as beneficial for anyone seeking emotional management skills.

Why so many therapists are fans of DBT skills

DBT operates on what might be one of the most important concepts in mental health: you can accept yourself exactly as you are right now AND work toward positive change simultaneously. This "dialectical" approach—essentially meaning "both perspectives can be true"—means you don't have to choose between self-acceptance and self-improvement. It's like recognizing you can appreciate your current home while also working on a few DIY projects.

Unlike traditional therapy approaches that might focus extensively on past experiences or analyzing root causes, DBT is super practical and skills-focused. Best of all, they tend to get great results.

3 Therapist-Recommended Core DBT Skills That Can Transform Your Daily Life

DBT skills aim to foster growth in four specific areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. There are many Core DBT skills, and a trained therapist can help you find the ones most helpful for you, but the following three are particularly useful and universally helpful.

1. The Mindfulness Skill: Observe, Describe, Participate

First, let’s talk about mindfulness and what it really means. Most people live as mental time travelers, either revisiting past regrets or worrying about future possibilities. Meanwhile, the present moment—where life actually occurs—receives minimal attention.

This habitual neglect of the “now” can contribute to anxiety, depression, and a general sense of disconnection from daily experiences.

Mindfulness is the practice of developing a relationship with the present moment. It's not about achieving constant calm (which isn't realistic for anyone). Instead, it's about creating space between stimulus and response—that crucial pause between "something happens" and "you react automatically."

Think of mindfulness as installing better emotional software in your brain. Instead of emotions escalating rapidly and taking over your decision-making, you develop more control over their intensity and duration.

Research demonstrates that people who practice mindfulness develop increased gray matter in brain areas responsible for emotional regulation. The brain physically changes through practice—like how muscles develop through exercise.

The “Observe, Describe, Participate” DBT skill teaches us to develop mindfulness through three simple practices:

• Observe. Pay attention to your current experience without immediately judging it. Spend five minutes noticing what you can see, hear, smell, or feel physically. When your mind wanders (which it will), gently redirect your attention back to the present moment.
• Describe. Narrate your experience in factual, neutral terms. Instead of "I'm completely overwhelmed," try "I'm noticing my heart rate increasing and my thoughts moving quickly." This shift can significantly reduce emotional intensity.
• Participate. Engage fully in your current activity. When brushing your teeth, focus entirely on that task rather than mentally reviewing yesterday's conversations.

If you find yourself in a situation that would typically trip an automatic, negative response, try doing one or more of these things and see how it impacts your behavior.

2. The Distress Tolerance Skill: TIPP

Life regularly presents situations that cannot be quickly resolved. Heartbreak, illness, uncertainty, and loss are part of the human experience. These distressing moments require different skills than problem-solving—they require enduring difficult emotions until circumstances improve, or natural healing occurs.

Distress tolerance skills function like a well-stocked emergency kit. You hope you won't need them, but when a crisis occurs, having these skills available makes a significant difference. The goal isn't immediate relief (though that would be nice). The goal is navigating intense emotional experiences without taking actions that create additional problems later—like sending angry texts, making impulsive purchases, or engaging in other behaviors you might regret.

Mental health professionals understand something crucial: emotions, even extremely difficult ones, are temporary. They have natural patterns of intensity and duration, and the most severe emotional states don't persist indefinitely. However, the decisions we make during emotional crises can have lasting consequences.

When experiencing an emotional crisis—panic attacks, overwhelming anger, or severe despair—try TIPP:

• Temperature changes can reset your nervous system. Hold ice cubes, splash cold water on your face, or take a cold shower.
• Intense exercise means elevating your heart rate quickly. Do jumping jacks, climb stairs, or engage in vigorous movement.
• Paced breathing provides direct nervous system regulation. Breathe in for four counts, out for six. The extended exhale signals your nervous system that the emergency has passed.
• Progressive muscle relaxation involves systematically tensing and releasing muscle groups throughout your entire body.

Experiment to discover which of these options is doable for you and has a positive effect. You may find one that works best for you or that different TIPP activities work better in different scenarios.

3. The Emotion Regulation Skill: PLEASE

Emotions aren't problems to be eliminated. They serve important functions—they motivate action, facilitate communication, and provide valuable information about our environment. The issue isn't experiencing emotions; it's when they become so intense or persistent that they impair functioning.

Emotion regulation isn't about emotional suppression. It's about developing greater skill in managing emotional experiences. People with strong emotion regulation skills don't experience fewer difficult emotions—they handle them more effectively.

A key thing to realize is that how efficiently you can handle your emotions is directly related to your physical state.

PLEASE is a DBT skill that improves your ability to handle your emotions by improving your physical state. It stands for:

• Physical illness affects emotional resilience. Addressing physical health needs will support emotional stability.
• Regular, balanced eating is crucial for emotional regulation. Blood sugar fluctuations directly impact mood stability.
• Mood-altering substances may provide temporary relief but often worsen emotional regulation over time.
• Sleep is fundamental to emotional health. Poor sleep significantly impairs emotional resilience.
• Exercise functions as natural mood regulation while improving physical health.

Each of these strategies for improving your physical state can require a major effort on your part. Talking to a doctor or therapist can help you prioritize where to focus and make sure you have the support you need to make progress.

As a starting point, consider thinking of one small thing you can do, from eating a balanced breakfast tomorrow, to taking a walk after lunch 3x this week, to making a doctor’s appointment or scheduling a therapy consultation before the end of the day today.

How DBT Works: The science behind the approach

Originally developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the 1980s, DBT began as a specialized treatment for borderline personality disorder. However, clinicians quickly recognized that this approach had broader applications. Today, DBT serves as a versatile therapeutic framework—reliable and effective at addressing everything from daily stress management to more complex mental health challenges.

DBT has substantial empirical support backing its effectiveness. The original studies on borderline personality disorder showed remarkable results. People receiving DBT were half as likely to attempt suicide compared to those receiving other treatments. When researchers examined self-harm behaviors, psychiatric hospitalizations, and overall functioning, DBT consistently demonstrated superior outcomes.

Researchers then began testing DBT with other challenges and continued finding positive results. Depression, substance use, disordered eating, and PTSD all showed improvement with DBT interventions. The pattern suggested that teaching people fundamental emotional skills helps with virtually any condition involving emotional dysregulation.

Perhaps most notably, studies with college students, healthcare workers, and individuals without mental health diagnoses found that DBT skills improved stress levels, relationships, and overall life satisfaction. The evidence suggests that most people could benefit from better tools for managing the complexities of human emotional experience—whether dealing with everyday frustrations or major life stressors.

How to Learn DBT Skills

DBT skills aren't instant solutions. They're more like acquiring proficiency in a new language or instrument. Initially, they'll feel unfamiliar, and you may forget to use them when most needed. This is normal and expected.

The key is consistent practice and patience with your learning process. Start with small, manageable steps and remember that developing these skills is about gradual improvement, not perfection. Practice these skills daily so they are more easily accessible to you in times of crisis. You're not trying to eliminate difficult emotions—you're learning to navigate them more effectively.

Whether you're addressing specific mental health concerns or simply want to manage life's inevitable challenges with greater skill, these evidence-based tools offer a practical path forward.

When to See a Therapist Who Specializes in DBT

Sometimes you need more than tools—you need a guide. If your emotions regularly derail your workday, strain your relationships, or leave you feeling like you're constantly fighting fires instead of living your life, it might be time to consider working with a DBT-trained therapist. It’s like learning to drive—you can read about it and watch videos, but there's something irreplaceable about having an experienced instructor beside you while you navigate real traffic.

Alma makes it easy to find therapists who specialise in DBT training, and you don’t have to be 100% sure you need DBT-focused therapy to reach out and schedule a consultation. One of the best ways to find out if DBT is right for you is to talk it through with an expert.