6 Mindfulness Techniques for People Who Hate Mindfulness

If you’re tired of hearing the word mindfulness or being told you should meditate or do breathwork, I understand. Unfortunately, words associated with wellness have become buzzwords. My name is Sunni Jones-Ford, and I'm a licensed clinical therapist. I am here to help you find ways to make mindfulness yours and make it meaningful to you.

You may be thinking, “What do you mean, make it mine and meaningful?" What I mean is, you have the ability to make mindfulness personal and authentic to you.

Mindfulness is not about perfection. It's about allowing yourself to explore and identify behaviors and ways of thinking that help you feel more calm, grounded, and connected to yourself.

Before we dive into how to practice mindfulness, let’s take a step back and define mindfulness in an approachable way.

What is mindfulness?

A great way of thinking about mindfulness is: it's the practice of paying attention on purpose to the present moment, which allows you to be in the here and now.

Oftentimes, there can be resistance to mindfulness, and partly this is due to how it has been packaged within our society as a trend or a set of actions that lead to quick fixes.

If we think about mindfulness from a more personal perspective, it becomes much more meaningful. So when you think about mindfulness, it's worth asking yourself:

• Why is mindfulness important for me?
• How can I use mindfulness to feel more centered?

If you don’t have answers to these questions yet, that’s okay. Keep the questions above in mind as you continue reading.

Explore your culture and personal history

Mindfulness is ancient. It's not new. For centuries, many of our cultures and societies have practiced acts of mindfulness without labeling them as such. Being mindful has always been central to our well-being.

For example, growing up, I spent a lot of time with my great-grandmother. I remember being a kindergartner, spending time in her garden with garden tools in hand. On several occasions, she lovingly included me as her helper, teaching me how to tend to the soil, dig holes, plant flowers, and water them.

In those moments, knowingly or unknowingly, my great-grandmother was showing me how to be present and connected to the task at hand, all while spending quality time with her. Those moments in the garden remain some of my fondest childhood memories.

When we think of mindfulness, we are conditioned to picture sitting in silence, yoga, breathwork, or similar practices. And yes, those are forms of mindfulness. But spending time in my great-grandmother’s garden, focused on one task and learning something new, was also a wonderful example of mindfulness. As we expand our vision and expectation for how mindfulness can look, it leaves room for it to feel meaningful.

If you want to lean into meaning-making, ask your parents or grandparents (if you have access to them) what helps quiet their mind, or research how mindfulness has intentionally or organically been practiced in your culture. It might be through weekly shared meals, rituals surrounding tea, or practices that encourage presence and connection. By taking these actions, you are taking steps towards cultivating mindfulness practices that mean something to you.

Focus on creating meaning

When it comes to mindfulness, there’s a lot of focus on “being present,” another phrase that can feel overused. If I say to myself, “be present, be present,” those words may not resonate deeply enough to shift me into presence.

As a starting point, try asking yourself:

• When was the last time I enjoyed being present?
• Where was I?
• Who was I with?
• What was I doing?

Then create a new experience for yourself using the answers as a roadmap. The experience could be as simple as reading a romance novel by the water while sitting on a bench or singing word-for-word to your favorite song.

Mindfulness also grows in meaning when we see it improving our relationships and connection with others. For instance, have you noticed yourself looking at your phone more than the person you’re talking to, distracted by checking email, clearing a notification or glancing at the time? You might be listening, but you’re not fully present.

You can shift your experience by increasing eye contact (if natural and culturally appropriate), turning your phone face down, and asking questions from a place of curiosity. Being present in your interactions communicates that the other person matters and that you value meaning in their words.

If you feel disconnected when in the presence of others, there’s a good chance you are not present. Your mind may be reflecting on past events or anticipating future outcomes.

So if mindfulness feels like an empty word to you, ask yourself: How can I use mindfulness to increase connection with people I care about?

Bonus consideration: Mindfulness helps us understand ourselves better. If you find your mind wandering when you’re with others, notice it. Ask: What is my mind wandering to? Am I feeling numb? Uneasy?

Difficulty staying present can be an indicator of your emotional state, including whether you are experiencing psychological safety. This is something you can explore further with a professional such as a licensed therapist.

6 Ways to be mindful without meditation or breathwork

Here are some additional examples of mindfulness practices you might not naturally think of, but that are just as valid:

1. Take time to cook a meal slowly

Set aside time to cook from scratch. Choose a recipe, gather your ingredients, and cook while listening to music or in silence. Intentionally create the environment you’d like to be in as you cook.

2. Garden or care for plants

If you have access to a garden, tend to it slowly—notice what’s growing, the colors, and the scents. Use all of your senses. If you only have houseplants, take inventory of their leaves, new growth, and root systems. Slowly water each one with care.

3. Tune into your body

Do a quick body scan. Are your shoulders tense? Do you feel stiff? Relaxed? Notice your posture. Give yourself permission to adjust—stretch, roll your shoulders, or shake out your limbs.

4. Become more aware of your environment

Bring awareness to your surroundings. How do they affect you? If overstimulated, dim lights, lower volume, adjust the temperature, or step into another room. Even small shifts can create calm.

5. Use transitions to cue mindfulness

Transitions matter. Try not to jump from one thing to the next. For example, when you arrive home from work, create a simple routine: take off your shoes, change into comfortable clothes, and exhale audibly before moving into the next part of your evening.

6. Connect with kids or loved ones mindfully

We can weave mindfulness into daily life with loved ones. For example, imagine you are driving with your child in the car. You are feeling stressed as you ruminate about tasks you have yet to complete. But then, a song that you and your child enjoys comes on. You turn up the volume, glance at your child with a smile and you both start singing together.

The shared joy the two of you experience is mindfulness in action. Both of you are fully present and sharing a moment of connection. How beautiful!

Mindfulness on your terms

Mindfulness is not new. It’s ancient. It’s a part of the human experience. One of the most important things you can do is to make mindfulness meaningful for you. When you give yourself permission to define mindfulness on your own terms, you create a practice that not only grounds you in the present but also nurtures your well-being, strengthens your connections, and helps you feel more at home within yourself.