10 People Explain How the Right Therapist Changed Everything

Ask anyone who has found the right therapist at the right time, and most will tell you there’s a “before therapy” and “after therapy” version of themselves. For some, the transformation is subtle—maybe they feel less nervous in social situations or are able to think differently about setting boundaries. For others, the right therapist may have helped them conquer imposter syndrome at work, address an eating disorder, or cope through a significant loss.

Those same people will tell you that therapy isn’t a walk in the park. Deep truths are often accompanied by puffy eyes, a pile of wet tissues, and the sense that your whole world changed over the course of 50 minutes.

But when therapy is working, the process is empowering, and the results are worth the discomfort. Case in point: the stories below from people who found a therapist whose skills, experience, and presence helped them move forward in profound ways.

Note that the stories are real, but the names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Fearlessly embracing my whole self

“For a lot of my life, I was afraid to explore certain parts of myself for fear that giving them attention would make them worse in some way. But when I finally found the right therapist for me, I was able to slowly unpack and work through the emotions that had been holding me back.

“My therapist not only made that work feel safe but liberating. The amount of self-acceptance and joy I’ve been able to access as a result is so meaningful to me and has changed my life in so many ways. Some time later, my best friend of 20+ years could see the growth and told me, ‘I’ve seen such a beautiful and exciting shift in your spirit.’” —Tanya

Allowing my authentic personality to come through

“I was able to evaluate the dynamics and relationships of my life from a complete lens, instead of the fractured, co-dependent, ‘good girl’ framework my family of origin had established. My authentic personality started to emerge!

“With it came a wide range of emotions, from staunch denial to deep shame to visceral rage. My therapist helped me process trauma and associated emotions instead of repressing, which ultimately led to my ADHD diagnosis the following year.

“For the first time in my life (then age 35), I understood why, within my own mind for as long as I can remember, I felt completely alone and uniquely broken. The validation was profoundly healing. Because of finding the right therapist, I have become the person I needed when I was younger.” —Allison

Figuring out what’s right for us as a couple

“I grew up in an intense family. We would get pissed off, yell terrible stuff at each other, then forget the whole thing or laugh it off. No one held a grudge and we knew we loved each other. No surprise, I ended up in a lot of relationships where blow out fights were the norm.

“Then I met my now wife who came from a family that never raises their voices or talks about things head-on, but they’re always complaining under their breath. The combination was a disaster.

“Our couples therapist is so good. He sees both sides and has helped us understand each other’s history and perspective. We’re figuring out what’s right for us as a couple, separate from what has worked for our families. I feel hopeful and grateful we’re doing this.” —John

Finding sanctuary in the midst of chaos

“In 2020, I was laid off from my job and had to postpone my move to my dream city, New York. Moving back in with my parents as an adult brought me face to face with inner child wounds and a wave of unknowns.

“Finding a therapist who focused on inner child work and art therapy, became an unexpected sanctuary in the midst of that chaos. I committed to not abandoning myself, paid what I could on a sliding scale, and eventually returned to the same company that had laid me off—but this time with a new outlook on work-life balance and my own worth.

“Therapy helped me embrace play, creative expression, and rest as valid parts of my career journey, not distractions from it.” —Caitlin

Putting negative thoughts on trial

“I love my therapist because she taught me to put my thoughts on trial. Instead of ruminating day in and day out, I now have the tools to assess each negative thought that comes across my desk.

“I ask myself, 'Why do you feel this way? What is causing this reaction?’ and listen to my body. I’ve never felt closer and more in tune with myself.” —Dara

Gaining the confidence to go after my goals

“Just like all of my best relationships, finding the right therapist has given me a safe and supportive foundation to grow into the best version of me. It’s helped me actually face all the challenging experiences of my past, see how it’s affecting my present, and build new tools to have a different future.

“That steady guidance has given me the confidence to take big leaps towards my goals, knowing I have a place to land when things don’t always go according to plan.” —Evan

Taking care of my own needs

“My therapist has had an incredible impact on my life. What I had long viewed as problems in my relationships and at work (what I saw as my partner’s ‘neediness’ and my boss’ ‘unrealistic expectations’) basically disappeared as I took responsibility for myself.

“I honestly never thought I’d be talking about ‘taking care of my own needs’ and ‘setting boundaries,’ but here I am doing it, and it’s working.” —Nick

Realizing I’m not broken

“Based on some things I had done in the past, I was convinced I was pretty messed up. Working with two other therapists hadn’t helped. But then I switched to my current therapist and he’s been using Internal Family Systems to help me understand myself more fully.

“I think it was in our fifth or sixth session that I started to believe that there was nothing really ‘wrong’ with me. It blew my mind. He had done something I thought was impossible and so now anything seemed possible.

“We’ve since started addressing my ‘real stuff’ and it feels like clearing boulders out of the backyard. I actually enjoy it.” —Jessie

Untangling generational trauma

“After struggling with the stigma of finding support for my mental health, I finally found a therapist who came from a similar background and could uniquely relate to my cultural situation.

“He helped me navigate my relationship with my first-generation Filipino-American family and gain a deeper understanding of the challenges that they faced so that I could begin to heal from intergenerational trauma.

“Through working with my therapist, I’ve learned how to navigate my feelings of self-worth and have productive conversations with those close to me, paving the way for affirmation and acceptance.” —Angela

Starting to actually like myself

“I went to therapy because I had anger issues. I’d tell myself it wasn’t a big deal, but it was. My girlfriend was over it and had started to pull away. Finally she said I could start therapy or we could split up. I didn’t want to go—I didn’t want to tell a stranger my problems and be judged for being a jerk.

“But my therapist didn’t judge me. He was on my side from the first session. I was able to let my guard down and figure out where all that anger was coming from. It was a huge relief. I started taking care of myself, and actually liking myself for the first time since I was a kid.” —Bill