When Caregiver Burnout Meets Holiday Stress: Real Talk & Survival Tips

Are you a caregiver who feels like you’re holding everything together for a loved one while slowly falling apart, yourself? Maybe every day starts with exhaustion, your responsibilities stack up faster than you can manage them, and you’re left feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or emotionally distant — followed by guilt for feeling that way. Maybe you feel like no matter how much you do, you’re never doing enough, and the stress is starting to crush you.

If so, you might be dealing with caregiver burnout, and you’re far from the only one feeling this way. 64% of caregivers report experiencing emotional stress due to caregiving, and 56% of caregivers say their role makes it hard to tend to their own mental health. Many of these individuals (potentially more than 60%) will experience caregiver burnout.

Not to mention, the holiday season can make everything feel heavier, especially when it seems like everyone else is savoring the joy while you’re just trying not to lose control. The holiday season tends to stretch caregivers even thinner, piling on added stress, expectations, and emotional labor.

Read on to learn about caregiver burnout, compassion fatigue, and how to cope with the impacts of caregiving.

What Is Caregiver Burnout?

“Caregiver burnout is a state of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by the

responsibility of providing prolonged daily care for the physical and/or emotional needs of a loved one,” says Heather Montemarano, a licensed creative art therapist with Alma who has helped clients manage caregiver burnout and faced it in her personal life.

Put simply, it’s what happens when the demands of caregiving outweigh the emotional and physical resources you have available. It’s caregiver stress that reaches the next level.

Caregiver burnout can happen to anyone providing care, whether or not they chose this position. “Caregiving can be a choice for some, while others are thrust into an unexpected role

that they didn’t ask for and are not prepared for,” says Amy Morgan-Tautges, a licensed clinical social worker with Alma. “Caregiving for some might last for a brief period of time, and for others, it will play a role in their life for years and even decades.”

Individuals who have been caregiving for a longer period of time are more likely to struggle with burnout, but that’s not to say that newer caregivers can’t, too.

Many variables contribute to caregiver stress and burnout. Morgan-Tautges lists the following as contributing factors:

• Social isolation, since you can’t leave the home as frequently (or as easily) as you used to
• Prioritizing the well-being of the person you care for over your own, potentially ignoring medical needs or letting healthy habits fall to the wayside
• The physical demands of caregiving (such as helping to lift or transfer)
• Financial strain, since you may not be able to work as much due to caregiving
• Spending significant amounts of money on basic necessities, health equipment, and gas to drive to doctors’ appointments
• Caregiver resources and supports becoming increasingly hard to access
• Disjointed and dismissive medical systems

You might experience different stages of caregiver burnout, starting with some early warning signs (like minor caregiver stress) to a more major strain on your mental health, to full-blown burnout and compassion fatigue (more on that later).

What Are Caregiver Burnout Symptoms?

There are many “symptoms” of caregiver burnout, ranging from emotional to behavioral to physical. Here’s a breakdown.

Emotional caregiver burnout symptoms

“Emotional signs of caregiver burnout can be subtle at first, then increasingly difficult to ignore,” says Genna Power, a licensed clinical social worker with Alma. She says these symptoms include:

• Growing sense of overwhelm
• Feeling like you’re “running on empty”
• Irritability
• Getting frustrated easily
• Anxiety
• Feeling tearful
• Feeling guilty, especially feeling like you aren’t doing “enough”
• Losing joy in things you used to enjoy
• Trouble concentrating
• Feeling disconnected or numb
• Feeling on edge with your nervous system in a state of high alert
• Hopelessness
• A sense of resentment

These symptoms can worsen without adequate rest, Power says. Not to mention, you might feel ashamed for feeling this way, which can lead to even more guilt. 

Behavioral caregiver burnout symptoms

The deep fatigue and troublesome emotional symptoms of caregiver burnout can also translate to behavioral symptoms. Power says some examples are:

• Desire to socially withdraw
• Withdrawing from hobbies and activities you used to enjoy
• Neglecting routines like eating, sleeping, and exercising
• Increased screen time
• Drinking alcohol to numb or escape the pressure related to caregiving

Physical caregiver burnout symptoms

Caregiver burnout often comes with significant stress, which can manifest as physical symptoms, says Montemanaro. Some examples include:

• Physical exhaustion
• Muscle tension
• Headaches
• Gastrointestinal issues

Caregiver Burnout Around the Holidays

Piling holiday stress on top of caregiver burnout is often too much for any one person to handle. In fact, a 2023 survey found that 40% of caregivers were worried about their mental health during the holiday season, and one in four unpaid caregivers would rather just skip the holidays altogether. The numbers are even higher for those who provide higher-intensity care.

“The holidays are often portrayed as joyful and restful, but for caregivers, this season can feel heavier,” Power says. “Extra responsibilities, emotional expectations, and disrupted routines can deepen exhaustion that’s already present year-round.”

It isn’t just the practical duties of the holiday season that can be burdensome — there’s an added emotional layer. “Memories and grief may surface,” Power adds. “You may be noticing changes in a loved one, remembering how things once were, while the pressure to keep traditions alive or make the season ‘special’ adds another layer of strain. “

Not to mention, financial stress is often heightened around the holidays for many people, and the burden can be even higher for caregivers who may already be under financial stress from caregiving. According to the previously mentioned survey, nearly 50% of caregivers say that, regardless of income level, caregiving affects their holiday spending. “Even surrounded by others, it’s easy to feel alone in what you’re carrying. If this time feels overwhelming, you’re not failing,” Power says. “Let yourself soften expectations, ask for support where you can, and offer yourself the same compassion you give so freely to others.”

Caregiver Burnout vs. Compassion Fatigue

Caregiver burnout and compassion fatigue are often interconnected, but they’re different phenomena. That said, in many cases, burnout leads to compassion fatigue.

• Burnout is the mental and physical exhaustion that comes from the ongoing responsibilities of caregiving.
• Compassion fatigue is the emotional numbness or depletion that can develop after long-term exposure to another person’s suffering.

Compassion fatigue can feel like your empathy is “shutting down” because your emotional reserves are completely depleted. In the beginning of caregiving, you may have felt more present and able to show up, but with time, you feel more like a shell of yourself, and you don’t have as much to give, Montemarano says.

Remember: Compassion fatigue isn’t permanent. You haven’t lost all your empathy. Once you heal emotionally, your ability to feel connected, present, and compassionate will naturally return.

Impact of Burnout on Caregivers and the People They Care For

Caregiver burnout isn’t something to ignore. The impacts run deep for both parties involved. "When a caregiver is not taking care of themselves or experiencing the symptoms listed above, they might not be able to care for their loved one safely,” Morgan-Tautges says. “Caregiver burnout, if left untreated, can lead to severe physical and mental health issues. The caregiver’s health and well-being are just as important as their loved one’s.”

“Over time, burnout can also impact the quality of care you’re able to provide. Even the most devoted caregivers may notice decreased patience, difficulty concentrating, or feeling overwhelmed by routine tasks,” Power adds. “These impacts aren’t signs of not caring enough; they’re signs of caring deeply for too long without adequate rest or support.”

How to Cope with Caregiver Burnout

These feelings of burnout likely won't go away on their own. It takes active effort to care for your mental health as a caregiver.

Here are eight practical ways for caregivers to cope this holiday season and beyond.

1. Acknowledge the struggle—it’s real and it’s hard

As a caregiver experiencing burnout and/or compassion fatigue, you’re probably used to stuffing down and ignoring any difficult feelings. This may be especially true during the holidays because you don’t want to put a damper on other people’s holiday cheer. However, to heal from these struggles, you need to admit they’re happening.

“Acknowledging the strain is a compassionate step toward protecting your well-being and sustaining the love and presence you bring to caregiving,” Power says.

2. Familiarize yourself with caregiver resources

Many people assume that local or government resources for caregivers are for people in worse situations, but that likely isn’t the case. “Use these services. They are there for a reason,” says Morgan-Tautges. “You and your loved one are entitled to them.”

She suggests the following:

• Contacting your local Aging and Disability Resource Connection (ADRC)
• Enrolling your loved one in a managed care organization
• Finding support or services through waiver programs
• Finding services such as nursing care, personal care workers, and day programming through Medicare and Medicaid

3. Consider joining a support group for caregivers

When you’re a caregiver, you might feel like others in your life don’t understand what you're going through, making the weight even heavier to carry on your own. Research has shown that support groups can improve caregivers’ quality of life.

Support groups for caregivers bring together individuals in the same shoes, providing a source of grounding, relief, and connection, Power says. “In these spaces, caregivers can speak openly about their experiences without feeling judged or misunderstood,” she explains. “Sharing stories, challenges, and small victories with others who truly ‘get it’ can ease isolation, reduce guilt, and remind caregivers that they don’t have to navigate this journey alone.”

You can also find caregiver support groups online through social media, including

Facebook, Morgan-Tautges says. Even if you aren’t meeting others in person, chatting with other caregivers online can also help create community and solidarity. During busy holiday months, groups that meet online may feel the most accessible.

4. Avoid sacrificing your social relationships

As a caregiver, you might get so swept up in caring for your loved one that other relationships tend to fall to the wayside. Morgan-Tautges stresses the importance of staying in touch with friends and family through regular calls, texts, and FaceTimes.

Researchers have found that higher levels of perceived social support are associated with significantly lower caregiver burden and greater resilience. In other words, feeling supported can meaningfully protect your mental health.

Consider reaching back out to friends if you’ve been unresponsive for a while. Let them know that you don’t have much spare time but that quick, regular check-ins mean a lot to you.

5. Write down the things that are hard to say out loud

Journaling is a great tool when you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Journaling can help you release feelings of guilt, sadness, or anxiety.

“If you feel like there are things inside of you that you want to say but just don't feel safe saying them, the journal could be the place to put them as long as you feel safe doing that,” Montemarano says. “Get it out, even if it's a feeling that makes you feel shame or guilt or something that would not be socially sanctioned. You need to acknowledge it.”

6. Speak to yourself like you would a close friend

Self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness, talking to yourself the same way you would to a loved one. If you struggle with caregiver burnout and compassion fatigue, you might be speaking unkindly to yourself — and it’s important to combat this with self-compassion and a sense of self-forgiveness, Montemarano says. Pay attention to your thoughts and catch when you’re speaking unkindly.

She suggests saying to yourself, “I'm doing my best” or “I'm doing everything I can with what I have right now."

7. Let go of the idea that you have to do everything yourself

When you’re a caregiver who does everything for someone else, you may have trouble allowing people to do things for you. However, Power urges you to let go of the idea that you have to do everything alone. It’s more than okay to accept help and say “yes” to help when someone offers to do something for you.

“Learning to accept help in these types of situations can make all the difference in the world,” Montemarano says. “Maybe their cup is more full and they have that time, energy, or other sort of resource to give to you, but you might be putting up that barrier and saying, 'No.’” She suggests opening yourself up to the initial discomfort of accepting help, because a big reward could come of it.

In the same vein, work on getting comfortable asking for help. Morgan-Tautges suggests being specific as to what would be most helpful, whether that’s asking someone for help making a meal, running to the grocery store, or picking up medications from the pharmacy. “I believe that those who care about us genuinely want to help, and assigning specific tasks can give direction and ensure that your needs are being met,” she says. “People often don’t know what you are experiencing or how they can help if you don’t say something.”

8. Squeeze in time for self-care whenever possible

Last but definitely not least, self-care is absolutely essential for caregivers. Montemarano stresses that you can’t pour from an empty cup — if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to care for your loved one. Even taking just five to fifteen minutes to do something small to “fill your cup” can make a difference, she says.

Keep it manageable and attainable. You can start with simple activities like stepping into another room to take a few slow, deep breaths alone, taking a short walk outside, or doing a few minutes of stretching, Power says. “Self-care here isn’t about spa days or perfection,” she adds. “It’s about tending to your most basic needs with tenderness, making space for your feelings, and acknowledging that you’re doing something incredibly hard.”

Practicing ongoing self-care and tending to your overall well-being can help prevent future burnout, too.

When to Seek Professional Help

“If you are feeling any signs of caregiver burnout — increased anxiety, depression, anger, sadness, exhaustion, and hopelessness — please try to access help or resources as soon as you can,” Morgan-Tautges says. It’s especially important to seek help if your symptoms are persistent and getting in the way of your day-to-day functioning (including caregiving) and quality of life.